You Don’t Have to Love Being Bald Every Day to Love Yourself
Some days you may love your bald head. Other days, you may miss your hair—and both can be true. Let’s talk about loving yourself without feeling pressured to love every part of the alopecia journey.
Sis, let’s talk.
You don’t have to love being bald every single day to love the woman looking back at you in the mirror.
I think sometimes we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get to this place where we’re completely okay with everything alopecia has brought into our lives.
Like somehow there’s a finish line.
You’ve accepted your alopecia.
Now you’re supposed to be confident.
You’re confident.
Now you’re supposed to love being bald.
You finally posted that picture without your wig.
Now you’re never supposed to struggle with your hair loss again.
But Sis...that’s not how real life works.
And it’s definitely not how healing works.
Loving Yourself and Loving Alopecia Are Two Different Things
Some women genuinely reach a place where they absolutely LOVE being bald.
And Sis, I love that for them.
But another woman may never look at her alopecia and say, “I love that this happened to me.”
And I want her to know something too:
She doesn’t have to.
You can love yourself without loving everything that has happened to you.
You can accept your reality without pretending that every part of that reality feels good.
You can love the woman you’ve become while still acknowledging that there were parts of this journey that hurt.
Those things can exist together.
Some Bald Days Are Just...Hard
You might walk into a room completely bald on Saturday feeling like, “Yep. This is me.”
And then Sunday somebody stares at you a little too long, and suddenly you feel uncomfortable.
You might look in the mirror Monday morning and think you look absolutely beautiful.
Then Wednesday comes and you miss your hair.
You might wear your bald head proudly one day and pull out your favorite wig the next.
None of that means you’ve gone backwards.
None of it means you suddenly stopped loving yourself.
It means you’re human.
Our emotions change.
Our experiences change.
Even our relationship with alopecia can change from one season of our lives to another.
There doesn’t have to be something wrong with you every time you have a difficult bald day.
Sometimes...
it’s just a difficult bald day.
You Don’t Have to Perform Confidence Here
And this is something I want to be very clear about, especially here at God’s Shining Crowns.
You do not have to perform bald confidence to belong here.
You don’t have to walk through the door saying, “I LOVE being bald!”
You don’t have to throw your wigs away.
You don’t have to stop wearing scarves.
You don’t have to take your hat off.
You don’t have to post a bald picture before you’re ready.
And you certainly don’t have to pretend you’re okay when you’re not.
If today is hard, Sis, you can say:
“Today is hard.”
And instead of somebody giving you a lecture about embracing your baldness, I hope you find a sister who simply scoots over and says:
“Come sit down.”
Because sometimes that’s what we need.
Not fixing.
Not advice.
Not another motivational speech.
Just somebody who understands.
Maybe the Goal Isn’t Loving Baldness Every Day
The longer I’ve walked this journey, the more I’ve realized something.
Maybe the goal isn’t waking up every morning and loving the fact that we’re bald.
Maybe part of healing looks more like this:
This is part of my life.
Some days I like it.
Some days I don’t.
But either way, I’m still going to live.
I’m still going to laugh.
I’m still going to get dressed up.
I’m still going to have lunch with my girls.
I’m still going to travel.
I’m still going to try new things.
I’m still going to dream.
I’m still going to walk into rooms I belong in.
I’m still going to LIVE.
Alopecia gets to be part of our story.
It does not get to become the whole story.
And Sis...The Mirror Doesn’t Get the Final Word
There’s something else I’ve had to learn along this journey.
My feelings about myself can change.
The mirror can be easy one morning and difficult the next.
But neither my feelings nor that mirror get to determine who I am.
God already settled that.
Before alopecia.
Before the hair loss.
Before the wigs, scarves, hats, questions, stares, explanations and everything else that came along with this journey.
I belonged to Him.
And I still do.
My hair didn’t make me God’s daughter when I had it.
And losing it didn’t make me any less His daughter when it left.
That truth doesn’t change depending on how confident I feel today.
And Sis, neither does yours.
So What Kind of Bald Day Are You Having Today?
If today is one of those days when you absolutely LOVE your bald head...
Rock it, Sis.
And if today isn’t one of those days?
That’s okay too.
Put on your wig.
Tie your scarf.
Grab your favorite hat.
Go completely bald.
Take some time for yourself.
Do whatever feels right for you today.
Just don’t confuse having a difficult day with your hair loss with having a problem with who you are.
Those are two different things.
You are still you.
Still valuable.
Still worthy of being seen.
Still deserving of love.
Still allowed to take up space.
Still allowed to live a full life.
And most importantly...
Still His.
So no, Sis.
You don’t have to love being bald every single day to love yourself.
And tomorrow?
You get to wake up and meet yourself again.
With love,
Kim
Your fellow bald sister, walking this journey right alongside you.
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