Wearing a Wig Doesn't Mean You're Not Courageous
Courage doesn't look the same on every bald woman. Let's talk about why wearing a wig doesn't make you less brave, less confident, or any less worthy—and why your alopecia journey doesn't have to look like anyone else's.
Sis, Can We Talk About Courage for a Minute?
I’ve had several bald sisters say something to me lately that has stayed on my heart.
They’ll see me without a wig and say things like, “I wish I were where you are,” or “I’m just not brave enough to take my wig off yet.”
And every time I hear that, I want to reach through the screen, grab my sister by the hand and tell her:
Who told you that you weren’t courageous already?
Somewhere along the way, I think we started treating taking the wig off like it’s the graduation ceremony for alopecia. Like once you can walk outside bald, you’ve finally arrived. You’ve finally become confident. You’ve finally become brave.
Sis, I don’t believe that.
Courage doesn’t have one look.
Courage can be the woman who walks into the grocery store bald for the first time.
Courage can also be the woman who puts on her favorite wig, looks in the mirror and decides she’s going to live her life today instead of hiding from it.
Courage can wear a scarf.
Courage can wear a hat.
Courage can wear a beautiful wig.
And yes, courage can rock a bald head too.
Your Wig Is Not a Measure of Your Courage
There is nothing wrong with wanting to wear hair.
There is nothing wrong with loving wigs.
There is nothing wrong with not being ready to show your bald head—or deciding that you simply don’t want to.
Your alopecia journey belongs to you.
You don’t owe anybody a bald head to prove that you’ve accepted yourself.
And you certainly don’t have to copy another bald woman’s journey to prove that you’re healing.
Some of us may reach a place where we stop wearing wigs completely. Some of us may wear them occasionally. Some may wear them every single day.
None of those choices make one woman more courageous than another.
Courage Looks Different on Every Bald Woman
I want us to be careful about the pictures we create of what a “confident bald woman” is supposed to look like.
Because confidence isn’t a hairstyle—or the absence of one.
Sometimes courage happens long before anybody else can see it.
It’s getting out of bed after crying the night before.
It’s looking in the mirror while your appearance is changing and learning how to speak kindly to the woman looking back at you.
It’s going to work.
It’s going on the date.
It’s showing up for your children.
It’s going to church.
It’s laughing with your girlfriends.
It’s telling somebody, “I have alopecia,” when you’ve been afraid to say those words out loud.
And sometimes courage is simply admitting, “I’m not ready yet.”
That counts too.
There Is No Deadline
Sis, there is no clock running on your alopecia journey.
You are not behind.
You do not have to get to where another bald woman is.
I can stand confidently in my baldness today and still respect the sister standing beside me in her wig. We can both be strong. We can both be beautiful. We can both be healing. We can both be courageous.
Our journeys just look different.
And isn’t that what sisterhood should make room for?
And Who Says You’re Not Courageous Anyway?
Certainly not God.
God isn’t looking at whether you walked out of the house bald this morning.
He sees you.
The woman underneath the wig.
The woman underneath the scarf.
The woman underneath the hat.
And the woman with nothing covering her head at all.
Your worth was never sitting on top of your head in the first place.
So wear your wig, sis.
Wear your scarf.
Wear your hat.
Or rock that beautiful bald head.
But whatever you choose today, don’t you dare tell yourself that you aren’t courageous because your courage doesn’t look like somebody else’s.
You are already walking this journey.
And that takes courage.
Different choices. Different journeys. Same beautiful purpose.
You are His. You are loved. You are enough.
— Kim | God’s Shining Crowns